我儿子两岁半，在旧金山帕洛阿托请了两年半育儿嫂+保姆。

根据我这两年多找月嫂育儿嫂和保姆的经验。

1、中介公司最不靠谱！哪怕全国连锁的大型家政公司。不接受反驳。或许是我运气差，至少目前为止在家政公司就没找到过特别中意的。他们的宗旨就是：你对这个阿姨不满意？好的。换。换哪个？拎几个出来你面试，你瞅着哪个行就哪个。试用几天不行？好的。那我们再给换，试用不行，阿姨你爱咋换就咋换，反正试用期的工资你也得照付，中介公司又不亏。

就一句话，影响心情。

My son is two and a half years old, and I hired a nanny/babysitter in Palo Alto, San Francisco, for two and a half years.

Based on my experience of finding nannies and babysitters over the past two years:

1. Agency companies are the most unreliable! Even large, nationwide chain domestic service companies. I won't accept any arguments against this. Maybe I'm just unlucky, but so far I haven't found anyone particularly satisfactory through a domestic service agency. Their motto is: You're not satisfied with this nanny? Okay. We'll replace her. Which one? We'll bring a few for you to interview, and you can choose whichever one you like. Doesn't work out after a few days of trial? Okay. Then we'll replace her again. If the trial doesn't work out, you can replace the nanny as many times as you want, but you still have to pay the trial period salary anyway, so the agency company doesn't lose anything.

In short, it's frustrating and stressful.

2、家里常年请保姆的邻居推荐的阿姨会非常靠谱，我们小区微信群里请育儿嫂阿姨的非常多，几乎每家都请阿姨。但是捡漏太难了，一来好阿姨超级吃香，很难流入到市场。谁家碰上品质好的阿姨都要捂着嘴偷笑，会一直请，请到天荒地老。

在我们社区里认识的一个育儿嫂我非常喜欢，经常碰到她下楼遛娃，对娃那叫一个细致，跟带亲孙子一样，真心超级负责任。邻居家崽子也特别喜欢这个阿姨，很黏她，每次这个阿姨要抱我儿子，邻居家的宝宝就吃醋。一打听这个阿姨在领居家干了十来年了，邻居三个娃都是她一手带大的。

其次认识一个阿姨。在邻居的朋友家干了好多年，后来邻居的朋友出国了，把阿姨介绍给了邻居，又在邻居家干了好多年。阿姨68年的，不出意外在会在这家干到退休吧，她说过几年不干了，要去给小儿子带孙子了。

还有一个阿姨。帮一位邻居照顾同住的爸爸（阿尔兹海默症）。阿姨当年带着刚读小学的儿子在务工，一直到目前儿子读大学还在这户家里干活。邻居是老土著，本地熟人比较多。阿姨儿子的初中（在我们当地还不错）都是他主动帮阿姨联系解决的，对这个阿姨赞不绝口。

2. The nannies recommended by neighbors who have employed nannies for many years are usually very reliable.  Many families in our community's WeChat group hire nannies, almost every family has one. However, finding a good one is very difficult.  Firstly, good nannies are in high demand and rarely become available on the market. Anyone who finds a high-quality nanny keeps it a secret and hires them for as long as possible.

I really like one nanny I know in our community. I often see her taking the children for walks downstairs; she's incredibly meticulous with the children, treating them like her own grandchildren, and genuinely very responsible. The neighbor's child also loves this nanny and is very attached to her. Every time this nanny wants to hold my son, the neighbor's child gets jealous. I found out that this nanny has been working for the neighbor for over ten years, and she raised all three of the neighbor's children.

Secondly, I know another nanny. She worked for a neighbor's friend for many years, and when the friend moved abroad, she introduced the nanny to the neighbor, and she's been working for the neighbor for many years since. The nanny was born in 1968, and she'll likely work for this family until she retires. She said she'll stop working in a few years to take care of her youngest son's grandchildren.

There's also another nanny who helps a neighbor take care of their father (who has Alzheimer's). The nanny was working while her son was in elementary school, and she's still working for the same family now that her son is in college. The neighbor is a long-time resident with many local connections. He even helped the nanny's son get into a good middle school (which is quite good in our area), and he speaks very highly of this nanny.

3、朋友同事介绍（很难碰到朋友或同事自己用过的阿姨档期能接上的）

说实话，我踩过两次坑，所以，不好评价。这两个阿姨都是嘴很甜的主，给原雇主带孩子的周期一般是四个月/半年左右这样，小伙伴的孩子大了点后，自家老人就可以搞定了。

她们在刚开始的两三四个月也表现得非常好—我们家对阿姨都非常客气，一般她们犯点小错，或者偷点小懒都会睁只眼闭只眼—然后工作时间长了她们就开始油，越来越明目张胆的偷懒。其中一个绝了。当时有段时间我家孩子特闹腾，晚上夜醒哭闹，于是提出让她休息一下去睡个午觉—开始阿姨每天吃完饭就去房里睡到下午三点半—逐渐她吃完饭就自动去房里睡午觉，和我们说孩子依旧闹腾了—事实上我崽晚上已经不闹了，但我家人手多（婚后一直要么待娘家，要么与公婆同住）。大家也没戳穿她—于是她一直保持着午睡的好习惯—次数多了居然开始从十二点半睡到四点半甚至五点半，简直离了个大谱，在某次她午饭过后，午睡到起床吃晚饭时我把她开除了，以至于令我产生了错觉，她是女主人，我是来给她打工的。

碰到不靠谱千万别忍，千万不要顾及对方的面子/心软不去说，一定要及时止损。

说到这里有点一定要注意：千万别去跟阿姨聊工作范围以外的事，聊多了俩就熟了，太熟了慢慢很多事就会不好意思去说她（可能是我个人的问题吧），她也会跟你越来越随意，很容易把阿姨惯出毛病。

3. Recommendations from friends and colleagues (It's difficult to find a nanny recommended by a friend or colleague who is available and whose schedule matches yours.)

To be honest, I've had two bad experiences, so I can't really give a positive review. Both nannies were very sweet-talking, and their previous employers usually only needed them for about four to six months, until the children were older and the grandparents could take over.

They both performed very well in the first two or three months—we were very polite to the nannies, and usually turned a blind eye to minor mistakes or laziness—but as time went on, they became more and more complacent and openly lazy. One of them was unbelievable. There was a period when my child was particularly fussy and cried a lot at night, so I suggested she take a nap to rest—at first, the nanny would go to her room to sleep after lunch until 3:30 pm—gradually, she would automatically go to her room for a nap after lunch, telling us that the child was still fussy—in fact, my child wasn't fussy at night anymore, but my family had many people around (after marriage, I either stayed at my parents' house or lived with my in-laws). No one called her out on it—so she continued her good habit of napping—after a while, she started sleeping from 12:30 pm to 4:30 pm or even 5:30 pm, which was completely outrageous. One day, after she napped from lunch until dinner time, I fired her, which made me feel like she was the mistress of the house and I was working for her.

If you encounter an unreliable nanny, don't tolerate it. Don't worry about hurting their feelings or being too soft-hearted; you must cut your losses promptly.

On this point, there's something very important to note: never talk to the nanny about anything outside of work-related matters. The more you talk, the closer you become, and the more difficult it becomes to address issues (maybe this is just my personal problem), and she will become more and more casual with you, easily leading to bad habits.

4、在美国找阿姨，凭感觉，看面相。

非常严肃，和人交流从头到尾全程面无表情的不找。

话过多，嘴太甜的不找。

一天发好几条朋友圈的不找。

那种要求比我还多，一开口就问我孩子几个月，男孩女孩，喂奶粉还是母乳，除了带孩子，家里需不需要她帮忙做家务，家里有没有其他人帮手，还没上户就问她干得好下个月能不能涨200工资，聊完就打听如果对她满意，能不能赶紧定下来，她还有哪个朋友也在约她出单（玩套路）等等的统统不找…

虽然这些她涉及到她的工作环境，属于打听自己的正当权益。但还没上户就开始关心这些的阿姨，我碰到的没有一个是扎实肯干的（仅代表个人经历哈）

后面找阿姨，每次我都会问一句是否喜欢玩手机。提出自己对于带孩子时玩手机非常非常反感（以前有个阿姨躲在房里，一只手用奶瓶给我儿子喂奶，一只手拿手机打字和别人聊天。导致我儿子狂吐奶，连鼻子里都在漏奶，把我们全家吓坏了。其次我和老公也从来不在儿子面前玩手机，以身作则，会对他造成不好的影响）

事实上我属于挺好说话的人，等孩子睡了，或者我们帮带的时候，你适当玩手机放松一下，我完全无所谓。

但是我会说得很严格，明说特反感喜欢玩手机的阿姨，每天在我家抱着手机刷抖音打视频是绝对不允许的，带孩子一定要负责任，不离眼。真别说，光这一条我吓退了好多阿姨，我只要一提出这个要求，她们就会开始犹豫。

还有就是上户后观察细节方面。会不会随身带婴儿棉柔巾纸巾，出门玩会不会习惯性检查是否带齐口水巾/水杯/隔汗巾之类的物品，孩子的衣服湿了脏了会不会给孩子立马换掉。阿姨爱不爱卫生，对育儿基本知识的掌握（图方便用她的牙齿咬开AD胶囊挤给孩子吃，把钙搁奶粉里一起泡给娃喝等等）

4. When looking for a nanny in the US, I rely on my gut feeling and observe their demeanor.

I avoid those who are overly serious and maintain a completely expressionless face throughout the entire interaction.

I also avoid those who talk too much or are overly sweet-talking.

I don't hire those who post multiple times a day on social media.

I also avoid those who have more demands than I do, asking questions like how old my child is, whether it's a boy or a girl, whether I breastfeed or use formula, whether she needs to help with housework besides childcare, whether there are other helpers in the house, and even asking if she can get a $200 raise next month if she does a good job, before even starting the job.  They also ask if I can hire her quickly if I'm satisfied, and mention that other friends are also trying to hire her (playing games), etc. I avoid all of these types of nannies...

While these questions relate to her work environment and are legitimate inquiries about her rights, I've found that nannies who start asking these questions before even starting the job are rarely reliable or hardworking (this is just based on my personal experience).

Later, when looking for a nanny, I always ask if they like to use their phone. I explicitly state that I am very, very against nannies using their phones while taking care of my child (previously, a nanny was hiding in a room, feeding my son with a bottle in one hand and typing on her phone with the other, causing my son to vomit profusely, even milk coming out of his nose, which terrified our whole family.  Also, my husband and I never use our phones in front of our son, setting a good example, as it would have a negative impact on him).

In fact, I'm quite easygoing. When the child is asleep, or when we're taking care of him, I don't mind if you use your phone to relax a bit.

However, I will be very strict about this. I explicitly state that I strongly dislike nannies who like to use their phones, and that using their phones to scroll through TikTok or video chat all day while at my house is absolutely not allowed.  Taking care of the child must be done responsibly, with constant supervision. Honestly, this one requirement alone has scared away many nannies. As soon as I mention this, they start to hesitate.

I also observe details after they start working. Do they carry baby wipes and tissues with them? When going out, do they habitually check if they have everything needed, such as bibs, water bottles, and sweat towels? Do they immediately change the child's clothes if they get wet or dirty? Does the nanny prioritize hygiene, and how well does she understand basic childcare practices (for example, using her teeth to bite open AD vitamin capsules and squeezing the contents into the child's mouth, or mixing calcium supplements with formula milk before feeding it to the child)?

然后问一些生活中万一碰到紧急情况的处理方式。爱学习的阿姨能答得上，混日子的就开始磕磕巴巴。

我目前请到的一位非常给力的阿姨，她从事家政行业九年，社区里一个比较面熟的阿姨推荐给我的—她的同事。当时面试她的时候，这个阿姨问我对保姆有哪些要求？我简单说了几条，她考虑了几秒钟回复说认为自己都可以做到，眼神很诚恳，当时我直觉，真的是直觉她会很靠谱。结果真的挺靠谱的。其次这个阿姨很能吃苦，她看起来比实际年龄苍老许多，而且脸上很多斑，她说脸上的斑都是常年起夜给娃换尿布，喂奶，习惯性会醒看一下娃给盖好被子熬的。

我和老公都是夜猫子，如果不上班经常凌晨一两点还在唠嗑，偶尔我就会溜娃的房里去瞅瞅，摸一下娃的纸尿裤，有没有尿几泡了阿姨都还没有换（一泡尿跟好几泡尿的厚度不同），看一下被子有没有盖好。看监控也行，家里请了阿姨自己也得上心，你自己越上心，每天多问一下孩子的吃喝情况，今天换了多少个尿裤，孩子最近的成长变化等等，她也会仔细一些。

个人比较喜欢睡觉惊醒一点的阿姨，娃一有动静她就醒了，别说，真有那种得娃哇哇大哭才能醒的阿姨…盯这种阿姨累…反正我会直接避开…你家娃半夜拉了屎，在床上哼哼唧唧不舒服 各种扭她还睡得香着呢，压根发现不了，娃烂屁股指日可待。

Then I asked some questions about how to handle emergencies in daily life. The aunties who were eager to learn could answer them, while those just going through the motions stammered.

The nanny I currently have is incredibly capable. She's been in the domestic service industry for nine years, and she was recommended to me by an acquaintance in the community—a colleague of hers. During the interview, this nanny asked me what my requirements were for a nanny. I briefly mentioned a few things, and after a few seconds of consideration, she replied that she thought she could do everything. Her eyes were very sincere, and I had a gut feeling—a real gut feeling—that she would be very reliable. And she really is very reliable. Furthermore, this nanny is very hardworking. She looks much older than her actual age, and she has many freckles on her face. She said the freckles were caused by years of getting up at night to change diapers, feed the baby, and habitually waking up to check on the baby and make sure the blanket was properly covered.

My husband and I are both night owls; if we're not working, we often chat until one or two in the morning. Occasionally, I'll sneak into the baby's room to take a look, feel the baby's diaper to see if it's wet (the thickness of one wet diaper is different from several wet diapers), and check if the blanket is properly covered.  Checking the monitor is also an option. Even with a nanny, you still need to be attentive. The more attentive you are, the more you ask about the child's eating and drinking habits, how many diapers were changed today, the child's recent developmental changes, etc., the more careful she will be.

Personally, I prefer nannies who are easily awakened by the baby's movements.  Believe me, there are nannies who only wake up when the baby is crying loudly... Monitoring such nannies is exhausting... I would definitely avoid them... If your baby poops in the middle of the night, whimpering and uncomfortable in bed, and the nanny is still sleeping soundly, completely unaware, the baby's bottom will be irritated in no time.